Is it Better for a Child to Go Unadopted Rather than be Adopted by a Homosexual Couple?

We got this one in connection with our Christianity Q&A.

It’s a difficult question, I admit. From an emotional standpoint, that is. Because the picture the question creates in your mind, the way it’s phrased, is of a healthy homosexual couple saddened because they can’t adopt a little child, and a little child who doesn’t have a home because of that.

That’s the picture.

But at least 2 questions I’d ask of that picture: Is there something sadder that will happen if the child is adopted by the homosexual couple? And is that picture accurate?

The answer to the first question, from a Biblical point of view, is yes. Something far more acutely, meaningfully, importantly sad happens when 2 men or 2 women pursuing each other romantically attempt to raise a child. And that is that the way God designed something, in order to reflect His awesome glory, is radically and fundamentally altered.

Parenting isn’t ultimately about us. Just like the Milky Way Galaxy isn’t ultimately about us. Just like tree frogs and arithmetic and tectonic plates and the laws of logic aren’t ultimately about us. All things were created through Him and for Him, Colossians says. Parenting and marriage and friendship and everything else were created and are sustained to sing and speak and show the wonder of God. And in places like Colossians 3, Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3, and Genesis 2 and 3 God shows us how marriage, romantic love, parenting, and family do that.

By a husband sacrificing himself for his wife he shows the sacrifice of Christ. By a wife submitting to her husband willingly she shows God’s people submitting to Christ. By children obeying their mothers and fathers they show the honor God would have given to Godly authority. By the whole thing being bonded together in love they hint at the impossible love of a merciful God. And by woman being made as a helper to man they both show the plan and forethought and different character attributes of God, as both the husband and wife are made in His image.

Marriage and family, like singleness and friendship and biology, are all meant to glorify Him. When we mar any of them, tamper with any of them, distort any of them, we rob God of something He’s due and rob the world of something it needs: true reflections of Him, the way He is and the way He creates.

He designed sexual intercourse and designed the way we procreate. And He has a plan for them. He designed parenting, and when a heterosexual couple neglects bringing up their child in the way of the Lord or in loving him like the Lord they tell a lie about Him, too. The saddest thing we can do, through drunken parenting or neglectful parenting or angry parenting or, in a more fundamentally altering way, homosexual parenting, is distort the glory of God. The universe is an adjective (in C.S. Lewis’ words) about Him.

The answer to the second question, I think again from a Biblical standpoint, is no, it is not an accurate picture. Romans 1 says that it is decidedly unhealthy to forsake natural sexual relations for homosexual ones, and so I don’t think there is a Godly, healthy example of two men or two women having sexual love. God has created that, in Genesis 2, a certain way, and we refuse it at our own peril.

I care about people. I know at least 1 Christian who struggles with same sex attraction. I love him and I feel for people with this temptation. I struggle with anger and idolatry and self-pity and other God-defying sins. And I thank Christ for His forgiveness given to me through faith in Him. But to consistently and unrepentantly have homosexual sex is to rebel in a fundamental way against what God has created, like Romans says. It is wicked, harmful, and if not repented of leads to spiritual death.

It isn’t healthy. It isn’t normal. It isn’t okay.

So the picture created in the mind by the question isn’t accurate. And the answer the question is looking for isn’t a good and happy one.

Christ forgave a Christian-murderer named Saul. He forgave a coward who turned away from Him at His lowest moment named Peter. Christ is the great Savior of all the wicked ones who need saved. But the Sauls and Peters who were saved were the ones who repented. Who turned from their sins and turned to Him. I would ask every person practicing homosexual sex and every person getting drunk weekly and every person viewing pornography and every person who yells or fights in anger who doesn’t submit yet to Jesus to give up on yourself and trust Him.

But we should not alter parenting, marriage, and other fundamental human elements that He authored. It would not be good for anyone, no matter how much it feels like it in the short term.


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