A Repentance

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I (Wade Thomas, one of the elder/pastors here at CrossBridge) don’t care about lost people enough.

Jesus Christ was willing to condescend to created flesh, the eternal Word taking on skin that can be cut and bones that can be snapped, for sinners. He surrendered, (momentarily) Heavenly glory to take up earthly shame and ridicule, for sinners. Jesus became the effects of sin, death and borne wrath, that the ungodly might be made Godly.

Me? I often don’t even much care what happens to the eternal souls of my friends and coworkers.

This is not just exhaustion, being “busy,” or just not being enough of a people person. It is sinfully having the wrong priorities. It is idolatrously, selfishly caring about my own pleasure or daily concerns than the good of those who need the Gospel. And, by the way, it is a sinful, hardhearted forgetting of how good that Gospel is to me.

On Tuesdays in January and February our church has been in prayer and/or fasting for our faithfulness as a church and for the lost in the neighborhoods around where we gather. And too often when I pray for those lost, it feels like a duty. A chore. Something to check off a list. I think there are probably a couple of reasons for that, and they’re all bad:

-I don’t think about the reality and horror of eternal judgement and the lake of fire.
-I don’t think about the fact that if it weren’t for the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ, that would be my fate.
-I am more excited by sports, a book, or lunch than by the living God.
-I don’t think God’s going to use me to reach out the lost, anyway. That’s someone else’s job.

I want to repent of these wicked, greedy, subconscious thoughts, fears, and lapses in memory. I want to share the Gospel with rotten, sinful outcasts who are curious about Jesus, like He did with Zacchaeus. I want to speak the truth in hope of salvation to even those who hardheartedly wholeheartedly reject it, the way He did with the Pharisees and Jewish leaders who accosted Him.

“And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, ‘Behold, Lord, half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Today salvation has come to this house, since he also is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost.'” From Luke 19.

“You sent to John, and he has borne witness to the truth. Not that the testimony that I receive is from man, but I say these things so that you may be saved.” Jesus in John 5, to the Jewish leaders furious at Him for healing a man on the Sabbath and saying that He was equal with God.

I want to speak the Gospel and care about whether the Gospel is spoken. I want to stop being myopic and thinking only of my own happiness and well-being. I want to delight in the expansion of the Kingdom and in the rescue of souls from the wrath of a holy and just God. I want to care deeply and passionately about those who do not know Jesus Christ.

In short, I want to be more like my Savior. The One who willingly gave all for the redemption of sinners.

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